I grew up in a tiny town with nothing to do, and the best friends anyone could hope for. We never seemed to get bored, and we formed a bond that we all thought could never be broken. When you think about losing friends, you imagine some big dramatic event that causes the separation. For some people, that's what happens. But more often, you grow up without even realizing it, and things just change. In the beginning, you put a lot of energy into staying in touch. Then you get busy, and somewhere along the line, those people you texted or talked to on Facebook everyday become less of a thought. At first, you feel bad for not thinking of them. You immediately contact them and say how much you'd love to get together, and you mean it. But the next thing you know, you're home for Christmas break and you haven't spoken to each other since fall. That's OK though, because you all get together and everything is just like normal.
And then you go back to school, and you get busy again and forget to call or text. You occasionally comment on a Facebook post, maybe even spend a night reminiscing while going through old high school photos. You convince yourself that you're all just busy but you're still just as close and you're never going change. No matter what anyone says, you're friend group is the one that will survive this whole "growing up" thing.
Then summer comes, and you see everyone again and all seems well. You all start working and visiting family and going on vacation, and some of those close friends just get too busy for you. Some people start acting strange. Some just plain stop talking to you with no explanation. Before you know it, fall is here and you're back at school and you only saw people once or twice. And while a part of you is sad, the rest of you is glad to be back at school. A little part of you may even start to be so glad that high school is over, and screw all those reminiscent feelings you've ever had!
And then you get more involved in college and make new best friends and new memories, and those from your teen years start to fade. You still miss people, and want to keep in touch, but somewhere along the way you stop missing them so much. You stop worrying about the people who've changed, or loss touch, or never want to get together when you both have time. You don't really realize you've gone through a transition until it's already happened. And it doesn't mean you don't care about those who you were once very close to, and it also doesn't mean you still don't have a few close friends left from high school. It just means you're growing up, and not all of you are going to BFF's like you thought.
Growing apart is natural, and no one's fault. When it first starts happening, you act like you don't care but deep down, you know it sucks. But then you focus your energy on the present instead of the past, and you realize that you're thankful for the memories. And now when you see your old group from high school, it can be really great to catch up. You realize you still care but it's just different. Being friends as an adult is much different than friendship as a teenager. You don't get to see them everyday, every week, or even every month, and you learn to accept that this isn't the end of the world.
It's great to see people and spend time with old friends, but many have their separate lives now. And as much as you were hellbent on proving the entire world wrong, you realize it's really great that you've all grown up. Or maybe some of them didn't, and that's why you really don't talk anymore. But either way, you learn to accept that it's OK when people come and go in your life. And sometimes when you're all back together, it feels like time hasn't passed at all. To all of my high school friends, whether we talk every day or once a year, or even not at all, thanks for the memories.
